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While this book seems like a lighthearted lampoon on the practice of doing
affirmations, at the same time it serves as a giggling spotlight on the foibles of
human nature. Indeed, it seems that quite a few people must be using some of
these affirmations. As an example, I opened this book at random and found this
little gem: “Today I will develop a new, unhealthy communication technique.”
Why, I have a neighbor who must say this affirmation at least once a day!
So what does this have to do with the Tarot? Since I have written a serious work
on this subject -- my Tarot Affirmations booklet (see my products page for
information on how to order that book) -- I thought it might be fun to write a list of
humorous Tarot affirmations as well, so here they are. (Remember now, these
affirmations are strictly for fun, kids, so don’t try them at home!)
0. Fool: “I have such firm belief in the path I have chosen that I may confidently
tell someone who has chosen another path that he is a Fool.”
1. Magician: “It’s all about me.”
2. High Priestess: “I will remain aloof and secretive so people will think I am deep
and wise.”
3. Empress: “I deserve to just sit around and wallow in self-indulgence.”
4. Emperor: “I will, in all ways, strive to exert control over the lives of those
around me.”
5. Hierophant: “My beliefs are the right ones, and it is my destiny to impose them
on the rest of the world.”
6. Lovers: “I will only commit to a relationship when I find one that is perfect in
every way.”
7. Chariot: “Today I will trample the needs of others in my mad dash for success.”
8. Strength: “When I hear someone say something stupid it is my right to put
them down and shut them up.”
9. Hermit: “Since I am all that I need, it is my right to maintain a discrete distance
from all the idiots in the world.”
10. The Wheel of Fortune: “Shit happens, so I give myself permission to shirk
responsibility for my life.”
11. Justice: “Two wrongs will not make a right, but getting back at someone will
make me feel better.”
12. Hanged Man: “Today I will find a passive-aggressive way to make someone
else feel guilty about all the suffering in my life.”
13. Death: “I work to help the people around me transform their lives so that they
may better accommodate my needs.”
14. Temperance: “I serve as an example of virtuous and temperate behavior so
that I may chide all who fail to live up to my high standards.”
15. Devil: “Today I will nurture my inner demons.”
16. Tower: “I have every right to feel secure in the ability of my material wealth to
protect me from life’s calamities.”
17. Star: “Today I will commit to at least one unrealistic goal.”
18. Moon: “Today I will find new and interesting ways to delude myself about my
life.”
19. Sun: “Since I deserve boundless joy and happiness, I give myself permission
to experiment with anti-depressants.”
20. Judgement: “Today I will find at least one unhappy, unfortunate person
whose shortcomings I can criticize with a justifiable sense of superiority.”
21. World: “Every day, and in every way, I am becoming better and better than
everyone else.”
So there you have it -- bleak and dreadful affirmations for each of the 22 Major
Arcana cards. Perhaps someday I will add 56 more to cover the Minor Arcana,
probably starting with the Swords cards, since they seem particularly well suited
for this kind of thing.
affirmations, at the same time it serves as a giggling spotlight on the foibles of
human nature. Indeed, it seems that quite a few people must be using some of
these affirmations. As an example, I opened this book at random and found this
little gem: “Today I will develop a new, unhealthy communication technique.”
Why, I have a neighbor who must say this affirmation at least once a day!
So what does this have to do with the Tarot? Since I have written a serious work
on this subject -- my Tarot Affirmations booklet (see my products page for
information on how to order that book) -- I thought it might be fun to write a list of
humorous Tarot affirmations as well, so here they are. (Remember now, these
affirmations are strictly for fun, kids, so don’t try them at home!)
0. Fool: “I have such firm belief in the path I have chosen that I may confidently
tell someone who has chosen another path that he is a Fool.”
1. Magician: “It’s all about me.”
2. High Priestess: “I will remain aloof and secretive so people will think I am deep
and wise.”
3. Empress: “I deserve to just sit around and wallow in self-indulgence.”
4. Emperor: “I will, in all ways, strive to exert control over the lives of those
around me.”
5. Hierophant: “My beliefs are the right ones, and it is my destiny to impose them
on the rest of the world.”
6. Lovers: “I will only commit to a relationship when I find one that is perfect in
every way.”
7. Chariot: “Today I will trample the needs of others in my mad dash for success.”
8. Strength: “When I hear someone say something stupid it is my right to put
them down and shut them up.”
9. Hermit: “Since I am all that I need, it is my right to maintain a discrete distance
from all the idiots in the world.”
10. The Wheel of Fortune: “Shit happens, so I give myself permission to shirk
responsibility for my life.”
11. Justice: “Two wrongs will not make a right, but getting back at someone will
make me feel better.”
12. Hanged Man: “Today I will find a passive-aggressive way to make someone
else feel guilty about all the suffering in my life.”
13. Death: “I work to help the people around me transform their lives so that they
may better accommodate my needs.”
14. Temperance: “I serve as an example of virtuous and temperate behavior so
that I may chide all who fail to live up to my high standards.”
15. Devil: “Today I will nurture my inner demons.”
16. Tower: “I have every right to feel secure in the ability of my material wealth to
protect me from life’s calamities.”
17. Star: “Today I will commit to at least one unrealistic goal.”
18. Moon: “Today I will find new and interesting ways to delude myself about my
life.”
19. Sun: “Since I deserve boundless joy and happiness, I give myself permission
to experiment with anti-depressants.”
20. Judgement: “Today I will find at least one unhappy, unfortunate person
whose shortcomings I can criticize with a justifiable sense of superiority.”
21. World: “Every day, and in every way, I am becoming better and better than
everyone else.”
So there you have it -- bleak and dreadful affirmations for each of the 22 Major
Arcana cards. Perhaps someday I will add 56 more to cover the Minor Arcana,
probably starting with the Swords cards, since they seem particularly well suited
for this kind of thing.
| Humor continued on the next page |
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| The Tarot images and all other content on this page are © 2001 James Ricklef. |
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A bit of Tarot Humor ... Page 1
James Ricklef -- Tarot and More
